Ask Amy: My boss is a jerk!

I respect the owner of our practice—his medical skills are excellent—but I don't like him as a person. He doesn't realize that 98 percent of the time, he's being a jerk. Our team members have discussed this with him. He improves for a while, but then reverts back. What can we do? —GETTING TIRED

DEAR TIRED:

First, if there is something illegal going on—such as discrimination or sexual harassment—consider legal or regulatory action. But if your boss is just a jerk, unfortunately, there are no laws against that.

People usually change for two reasons: Either they see something better that will come to them if they change, or they become afraid of the consequences of failing to change. So try to identify what your boss really cares about, and then tell him about how his actions are making it difficult for him to achieve that. Even if you pinpoint his motivator—say it's excellent pet care—be ready to accept that he probably won't change.

Think through the pros and cons and decide whether you're really better off working there. You don't have to decide to leave right now, but you'll make a clearer decision if you have visualized what a different future might look like. —AMY